As an entrepreneur, letting self-limiting beliefs take hold of you can be the roadblock to success. Like so many people, we struggle in our every day lives. The difference is that because we are entrepreneurs, it sometimes comes at higher levels of occurrence. Self-limiting beliefs seem to control our lives, limiting what we can accomplish on a daily basis. This article is here to show you ways on becoming an overcomer and cheer you on as well as help to remind myself of the same. I hope to help bring you back into the mindset towards success in your business and to help make you a stronger person. Just know that you are never alone!
What are Self-Limiting Beliefs?
On Changingminds.org it states that self-limiting beliefs are those beliefs that block us or constrain us in some way. Just by believing them, we do not think, do or say the things that they inhibit. And in doing so we negatively affect our lives.
Basically self-limiting beliefs are thoughts we inadvertently give life to that we then use as excuses for not doing or achieving positive actions that ultimately prevent your success.
We may have beliefs about rights, duties, abilities, permissions and so on. Limiting beliefs are often about our selves and our self-identity. The beliefs may also be about other people and the world in general. In any case, they sadly limit us.
Examples of Self-Limiting Beliefs
Before we can stop and reverse self-limiting beliefs, we need to identify some examples of statements. By identifying actual statements, we can halt ourselves.
I can’t
First “I can’t”. Really? Are you sure? You can’t lose weight because the portions you get when you go out to eat are so large you don’t want to waste food. Or maybe you can’t close the sale of signing a new customer because … Our abilities are not stationary, we can learn and adapt.
I am/am not
Next “I am/am not”. In Direct Sales we have all had that perfect prospect who you know would be awesome in business with you and your team, but they come back and tell you “I am not a salesperson”. How would you offset that comment? ‘I am’ thinking assumes we cannot change. Whether I think ‘I am intelligent’ or ‘I am not intelligent’, either belief may stop me from seeking to learn.
‘I am’ also leads to generalization, for example where ‘I am stupid’ means ‘all of me is all of stupid and all of stupid is all of me’. A better framing is to connect the verb to the individual act, such as ‘That was a stupid thing to do’. When you couple with values, people develop beliefs about whether people are right or wrong, bad or good. Keep reading as I will be covering the reactions we need to do to help ourselves and others.
I do/don’t
Or how about the “I do/don’t” prospective customers? “I do another program” or “I don’t drink wine”. Do you ever say “I do ‘such and such’ so I know it won’t work for me”. Or have you ever said “I don’t deserve….” Stop it! You need to believe in yourself. We are going to work on your mindset toward manifestation and success.
I must/mustn’t
“I must/mustn’t” is a way of binding our values, laws or rules and even our habits as a way of what we must or must not do. Obsessive Compulsive people are real practiced to say that they “Must do such and such” like clean the house or have their desk be set up a certain way. The result is that it ends up robbing them of time management.
Others are/will
Just as we have limiting beliefs about ourselves, we also have beliefs about other people, which can limit us in many ways. If we think others are more capable and superior then we will not challenge them. If we see them as selfish, we may not ask them to help us.
We often guess what others are thinking based on our ‘theory of mind‘ and beliefs about them. These guesses are often wrong. Hence we may believe they do not like us when they actually have no particular opinion or even think we are rather nice. From our guesses at their thoughts we then deduce their likely actions, which can of course be completely wrong. Faced with this evidence, it is surprising how many will still hold to the original beliefs.
It all comes down to FEAR
Fear is the common denominator when looking at all Self-limiting Beliefs. It is easier to make an excuse than face your fears. Fear of failure, fear of success (yes, seems weird, but it is there), fear of getting hurt both emotionally and physically fear of rejection and of being left out.
The way we handle fear can make us stronger. It’s up to us to make the right choice for us. As entrepreneurs, making the right choice will either make us or break us. We can either run away or rise above it. My experience has been that when you run away, you are most likely by yourself, alone in making that decision. When you face your fears and rise above it, you have your Faith, you have your team. Everyone is there cheering you on. And when you Rise up, the overwhelming feeling of success fuels us and gets us ready for the next challenge.
Fear will never just go away, but how you face your fears determines your path for success.
My personal struggle
My own personal struggle with self-limiting beliefs and fears are a reality that I try to work through every day while trying to grow my Wine Club business.
Making people upset
One of my fears is upsetting or disappointing someone. For example, calling people back. Am I inconveniencing them? Will they yell at me because they think this is a scam. Are they truly even interested? I learned this fear, yes, learned it at a young age. It seems that no matter what I did I was always made to feel inept and not able to please certain people in my own family. My feelings are easily hurt and my temper is just as short.
Failure
Another fear I have is of failure. This is a big issue for many people. What happens if I fail? I will have disappointed so many people but most of all I will be disappointed in myself. My pride will be hurt. How will I pick myself up again? Then I have to remind myself how many times I fell while trying to ride a bike. How many times I stood screaming at the pool on the diving board as my older cousin (and my swim instructor) yelled at me to jump! Then all of a sudden, I was pedaling on 2 wheels and I was jumping in and swimming! I remind myself of how it felt!
Clueless – A Mother’s Note
Another fear is of being clueless. My own mother wrote in a notebook towards the end of her life that I was clueless. That hurt a lot. Although I have forgiven her written words, they are still sitting in the pit of my stomach that someone else with think the same thing. This will be my toughest fear to work on, but I already am working to overcome it by reading self-improvement books, following the leaders in our company, getting information by attending all offered training and corporate calls. My weekly commitment is almost every night I am on a call to learn more. Call it FOMO – Fear of Missing Out, but I won’t willingly allow others to have that control over me.
Not looking for pity
As I put these thoughts of mine into words on the screen, I realize I do not want pity. I put them out there as a warning because I am an Overcomer, just like the song from Mandisa. She overcame being humiliated by Simon Cowell on American Idol, overcame deep depression, and more! Her life story is an amazing example of being an Overcomer.
The world better get ready for me! I am about to remove my Roadblocks and throw these Self-limiting beliefs out of the house! Are you with me?
Remove the Roadblock & Overcome Self-limiting Beliefs
As an entrepreneur, the biggest obstacle to your success is not the lack of time or money. It’s what you believe about yourself, specifically, your self-limiting beliefs. So the bigger question is how do we overcome these beliefs? Let’s do this together as a team!
A Logical Way to Eliminating Self-Limiting Beliefs
Are you a logical person? Then this technique will work great for you, the bonus is that it is really easy to understand.
1. Set aside some quiet time to identify your self-limiting beliefs and write them down.
They are usually the same thoughts that replay in your mind every day, or familiar thoughts that are triggered in specific scenarios, like, when you think about your finances.
*Doing this article, shut away in my office has allowed me the quiet time necessary to write them down. Or at least start the list.
2. Pick one self-limiting belief to work on at a time.
Don’t think you need to figure all this out in one shot. You sure didn’t learn it overnight, so don’t count on fixing it overnight. You need to shoot these guys down one at a time. It’s best to start with an easier one, one you know is definitely false, like, “All the people who have succeeded in life were successful because they had money”, rather than one that has a long history of pain and emotional triggers.
*The first one I am going to work on is the fear of follow-up. Making those calls. I have actually taken the first step. Along with my wine company, is this link post blogging. My involvement gives me the opportunity to practice cold calling people. They have a basic script, I dial, people answer, and the more I do it, it is like a piece of the iceberg is chipping off and melting with each call. The feeling I get when I make just 1 call is warmth and security. It just feels good.
3. Ask yourself why you believe this.
Reflect upon your life and write down every instance, every experience you had that reinforced this belief. Try to trace this back to the earliest experience from where this belief emerged.
*Doing this article is effectively helping me write it out. To get it in the open and to face it head on. If I can do it, so can you!
4. Detective work: Let’s get the evidence that proves this belief is false.
Can you think of any real life examples when a statement like this was not true? Can you think of any examples in your life where this statement about yourself was false? Write down every example that indicates this belief is untrue – in the world for other people, as well as for you.
*What a release this is! Okay, so an example for me of proving my fear of follow-up is false is when I make the calls and NO ONE has hung up on me yet! NO ONE! Has anyone told me “No thanks” or “Not Interested”? Sure, but you know what? I don’t know of anyone who has died from being told no. There is no such thing as “Cause of Death: Was told No”.
5. Neutralize the self-limiting belief with positive visualization.
Chances are, these beliefs have become so entrenched in your psychology that they have become well-established thought patterns, often triggered by a certain type of event. What we are going to do now when we catch ourselves thinking this belief, IMMEDIATELY counteract it with a strong image of the opposite. For example, if you believe that the only reason why you are unsuccessful is because you have no money, next time you think this, focus on all the people who rose to fame and fortune, who came from more difficult circumstances than you.
*So when I sit down each day to do my calls, I will close my eyes and just imaging that the person who answers the phone are going to be nice. They are going to let me do my presentation on joining my Wine Club. AND…They are going to sign up!
6. RRR – Reset Refocus Recommit (and Repeat!).
Work your way up your list from the easiest to the most difficult self-limiting beliefs.
*I didn’t list all my fears here, but I will be writing them down and working on them along side you. Remember, you are not alone! We will break free together and our Successes will be mounting, filling in the gaps where the fears once were.
Suggested Reading
Now that you have come through this article are you ready to keep your self-improvement flowing? You deserve to be the best you can be no matter what it is you want to do. Some of my favorite books that have given me much insight in my business are:
The Secret by Rhonda Byrne
Acting Classes by Austin Zulauf
Go Pro by Eric Worre
ANY books by: John C Maxwell, Zig Ziglar, Tony Robbins – they are all great books!
Looking for Job Opportunity to Own Your Own Time?
Maybe you haven’t found that perfect business just yet. You want something but nothing has clicked. If you have read this far, you are the kind of person I want to help grow on my team. Come give both the Wine Club and Performance Blogging a peek.